One of my Irish cousins shared the following funny post with me which he believes originated here, but may appear in lots of other places too, so my apologies if I have not acknowledged the proper original copyright. My cousin and I have also been inspired to add a few of our own variations too, so long may we all have a laugh at the thought of the trouble our cantakerous ancestors may have inadvertently put us to centuries later!
" It is New Year's Eve 1852 and our ancestor sits at his desk by candlelight, pen poised, mulling over his resolutions for the coming year;
1. No man is truly well-educated unless he learns to spell his name in at least 3 different ways within the same document. Therefore I resolve to give the appearance of being extremely well-educated whenever I am required to sign my name to anything in the coming years. If it was good enough for Shakespeare/Shakspeer/Shooglestick, it's good enough for me.
2. My age is no-one's business but my own. I hereby resolve never to list the same age or birth year twice on any document and reserve the right to consistently shave years off my age at every census until I end up younger than my eldest child.
3. I resolve to see to it that all my children will have the same names as my ancestors have used for six generations in a row.
My brothers promise to do likewise, thereby ensuring that each of our children has the same name as the cousins of the approximate same age in the same parish naturally.
4. I resolve to have each of my children baptised in a different church - faith or parish, I'll pick and choose whichever one I like at the time. I also reserve the right not to baptise all of them and if the itinerant minister keeps no records, that's no fault of mine.
5. I will make every effort to reside in counties and towns where no vital records are maintained or where the courthouse burns down every few years.
(Or more particularly, I resolve to come from Ireland, where there are no records, or, if there are, they can only be examined by visiting the exact village and pleading with the local clergy, who is hostile to anyone not of his belief, which, of course, you are, and/or handing over a fee equal to or exceeding your yearly income for one hour's research, which may not find anything.)
6. I resolve to move to a new town / county / country at least once every 10 years - can't be doing with that pesky enumerator asking silly questions.
(Or my own favourite variation on this one based on the actual life of one of my ancestors cousins - I resolve to move to at least 2 different countries other than that of my birth, have 2 different families, name my daughter with exactly the same 3 names as her cousin born in the same year in the same Australian state ... and eventually leave them all down under and bugger off back to Ireland to die in obscurity!)
7. I resolve to join an obscure religious cult that does not believe in record-keeping or in participating in military service.
8. When the tax collector comes to the door, I will lend him my pen which has been dipped in rapidly fading blue ink.
9. I resolve that if my beloved wife, Mary, should die, I will marry another Mary (Anne/Susan/Elizabeth/Jane, delete as appropriate.)
10. I resolve not to make a will. Who needs to spend money on a lawyer?!"
Feel free to add your own additions and variations!
" It is New Year's Eve 1852 and our ancestor sits at his desk by candlelight, pen poised, mulling over his resolutions for the coming year;
1. No man is truly well-educated unless he learns to spell his name in at least 3 different ways within the same document. Therefore I resolve to give the appearance of being extremely well-educated whenever I am required to sign my name to anything in the coming years. If it was good enough for Shakespeare/Shakspeer/Shooglestick, it's good enough for me.
2. My age is no-one's business but my own. I hereby resolve never to list the same age or birth year twice on any document and reserve the right to consistently shave years off my age at every census until I end up younger than my eldest child.
3. I resolve to see to it that all my children will have the same names as my ancestors have used for six generations in a row.
My brothers promise to do likewise, thereby ensuring that each of our children has the same name as the cousins of the approximate same age in the same parish naturally.
4. I resolve to have each of my children baptised in a different church - faith or parish, I'll pick and choose whichever one I like at the time. I also reserve the right not to baptise all of them and if the itinerant minister keeps no records, that's no fault of mine.
5. I will make every effort to reside in counties and towns where no vital records are maintained or where the courthouse burns down every few years.
(Or more particularly, I resolve to come from Ireland, where there are no records, or, if there are, they can only be examined by visiting the exact village and pleading with the local clergy, who is hostile to anyone not of his belief, which, of course, you are, and/or handing over a fee equal to or exceeding your yearly income for one hour's research, which may not find anything.)
6. I resolve to move to a new town / county / country at least once every 10 years - can't be doing with that pesky enumerator asking silly questions.
(Or my own favourite variation on this one based on the actual life of one of my ancestors cousins - I resolve to move to at least 2 different countries other than that of my birth, have 2 different families, name my daughter with exactly the same 3 names as her cousin born in the same year in the same Australian state ... and eventually leave them all down under and bugger off back to Ireland to die in obscurity!)
7. I resolve to join an obscure religious cult that does not believe in record-keeping or in participating in military service.
8. When the tax collector comes to the door, I will lend him my pen which has been dipped in rapidly fading blue ink.
9. I resolve that if my beloved wife, Mary, should die, I will marry another Mary (Anne/Susan/Elizabeth/Jane, delete as appropriate.)
10. I resolve not to make a will. Who needs to spend money on a lawyer?!"
Feel free to add your own additions and variations!